I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize