I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize