And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
