so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
