i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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