Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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