I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
