why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
