Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
