check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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