We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just had sex bonerless
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
