I am in a vortex of obligation.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
