Non-Jews are for practice
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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