:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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