Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
