I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
