btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
