I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
