Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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