I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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