why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
