what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
