Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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