I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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