i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
