Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize