We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
