i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize