if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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