Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
