Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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