i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize