Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
