you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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