Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
