So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
