what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
