Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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