woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
