just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
