ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
