Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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