Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
