I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
