when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
