Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
