Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
