She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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