My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Someone came in the potted fern
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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