I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
