this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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