GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
