nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
