Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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