girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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