nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
