I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
