We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
