dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we're making bets on your personal life
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
