fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
