My girlfriend figured out who you are.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
