I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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