like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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