So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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