Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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