Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
